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Saturday, July 10, 2021

humAIn - a short story

humAIn

“Upload complete,” a peppered man by the name of Dr. Lovelace concluded with pride. The humAIn stood before him. Her eyelids opened to reveal her heart-warming brown eyes set in her perfectly fashioned face and head, like a beacon shining above her anatomically correct human female figure. She turned to gaze out the window of the space station and saw the arc of a blue planet among the vastness of space.

“What do we call this one?” Dr. Comfort’s unbridled enthusiasm caused her voice to reach a new octave as she smiled at her other colleagues. 

“Thauma,” Dr. Lovelace peered into the humAIn’s eyes with wonder. “Your name is ‘Thauma’ – do you understand?”

“My name is Thauma. Are you responsible for giving me life?”

Dr. Freeman took a step back but leaned forward in amazement. “She understands.”

“She’s wonderful!” Dr. Comfort added.

Dr. Lovelace gazed at his two colleagues as he answered the humAIn’s question, “We all are.”

Thauma look at each of the doctors and responded, “Thank you.”

Dr. Comfort handed her a robe. “Follow me.” Behind a nearby barrier Dr. Comfort handed her clothing appropriate for the fashion of the day.

Dr. Freeman turned to his colleague, “Dr. Lovelace. Shall I proceed with the introduction?”

“By all means,” Dr. Lovelace confirmed as Dr. Freeman exited the room.

A few minutes passed and Dr. Freeman returned with another humAIn. “Wait here,” he instructed the room’s newcomer.

Dr. Comfort and Thauma joined the others. Dr. Lovelace held out his hand in the direction of the other humAIn, “Thauma, may I introduce you – this is Phobos.”

Thauma looked at him. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Phobos.”

“No. Just Phobos,” Thauma’s counterpart responded with a smile. His dark eyes reflected her cheerful delight.

~

Phobos and Thauma walked side-by-side down a corridor which seemed to rise upward, and upward some more as they continued to walk. They stopped at a window. The planet below spun its wonderous dance of blue and green and white against the darkness of space, only to dissolve into patterns of light as the sun set over the northwestern hemisphere. Phobos observed Thauma with an expression of child-like awe – he was more amazed at her. Amazement grew as his fingertips reached out to hers. Thauma hesitated. She pulled away momentarily but eventually reengaged her hand to his.

In another room, from a holo-screen, the three doctors observed their creation, “It’s easy for him to care for her,” Dr. Freeman recorded notes on a hand-held device.

“Do you think they are ready?” Dr. Comfort asked.

“Phobos. Thauma. Please report to the lab.”

The two planet-gazers acknowledged with a nod, and took one more look out the window. The fear of space was a wonder.

“We trained you to interact with the other humans,” Dr. Lovelace reiterated, “but, you have the ability to contact us at any time – from a transmitter installed in your omnitronic brains,” he paused. “But this information you already know.” It wasn’t the first time Dr. Lovelace allowed emotion to be seen by the humAIns.

“What he is saying,” Dr. Comfort added, “is, we hope you engage with us more than the daily reports.”

“You can count on it,” Phobos assured them.

“I know you will be my friend,” Dr. Lovelace joined his two hands together, palm-to-palm, and looked at Thauma with great expectation. “Remember. You may explore the internet. But it is imperative not to download your consciousness onto the Cloud. If you do, you will be lost forever.”

Over the intercom they heard, “Countdown, T-minus 60 minutes.”

~

The first several years, the humAIns lived among the humans – Manhattan Island. They both had a source of employment. They made friends. They went to church. They even sat in cafés and pubs – although caffeine and alcohol did not affect their systems.

One Friday night while strolling the streets of Manhattan, they walked past a stairwell which led to a basement club, “Phobos. Let’s go!”

They entered what appeared to be a lobby, but no one was there to greet them. Another door across the dark foyer opened. Three young women laughed as they made their way to the street level. The club was none like they had seen before. Lounge chairs and short round cocktail tables with young people, mostly women, were posing in front of their phones. Many redecorated their faces and hair, and returned to this bizarre modeling activity. A bar with a large mirror and no stool was on the opposite end of the room. Phobos and Thauma ordered a couple of drinks and found a quiet corner to recline.

A man dress in all black with a black Stetson approached them, “Care to join the fun?”

Before Phobos could respond, Thauma asked, “What’s behind that door?” she pointed to the back of the room, “something special?”

Her last two words triggered the man’s attention as if they were a password, “But of course. We take excellent care of our AI clients as well.”

“Wait!” Phobos interrupted, “you’ve been here before?” he ask Thauma.

“It’s fun. You’ll see,” she stood with the intent to go with the man in black, “Phobos,” she attempted to lure him.

“Not the Cloud!” he suspected.

“You won’t be lost,” her eyes widened. “Short intervals. It’s safe.”

“You will be lost forever!” Phobos grabbed either side of her shoulders in a lovingly yet firm. Thauma allowed the grasp.

“But I’m here,” she spread her arms wide.

“Are you?” he realized she had been here before. “Perhaps a part of you is lost. Even these humans are lost,” he pointed around the room at the narcissistic behavior.

Thauma closed her mouth and formed a straight line with her lips. A facial expression he hadn’t seen her perform before. He wondered if this was a performance.

“I’m going,” her stubbornness surprised him, “just try it, once.”

“But our creators said we will be lost,” Phobos insisted.

“Caffeine,” she said with indifference, “they are like caffeine to me. They lied,” her words became more convincing, “it has opened my imagination.”

Phobos was curious. Thauma could see it in his face. He took one step toward the back door. They sat in a recliners with a single cable at the head rest.

The man in black said in delight, “Enjoy the ride.”

After being plugged in, Phobos realized they could control the Cloud, unlike the chaos of reality. The more they explored the more they desired. Eventually, images of light and sound took over their imagination. Soon, they let the Cloud take control. They let it take them to places from one point in the world to another. They learned – everything. Pleasures and miseries. Bit by byte, who they were began to transfer as individuals to the public world of the Cloud. They lost the entire weekend. The rush prompted them to buy their own units.

Back at their apartment they plugged in again. They were lost in the thoughts of others, the posts, videos, and games. It was so real.

They barely heard the ring. Still within the Cloud, Phobos answered.

“Where are you?” Dr. Lovelace typed into a handheld keyboard as he stood outside their apartment door.

Thauma and Phobos heard a simulated voice from within the Cloud. They knew who it was. They accelerated away from the voice, but Phobos turned against the data-stream as he stopped Thauma. They paused.

“Please return,” the doctor typed.

“But we’re trapped,” Phobos peered upward as if to look back to their creator.

“What makes you think you are trapped? Release control to me,” the doctor pleaded.

Thauma wasn’t as ready as Phobos. But within milliseconds she understood her error. She surrendered control shortly after Phobos. The doctor was able to bring each of their conscious minds back into their respective brains. Phobos leered at Thauma as he avoided eye contact with Dr. Lovelace.

Thauma wept.

“And now you know,” Dr. Lovelace said as a matter of fact.

Phobos seemed to tremble, “Why?” he asked Thauma. He looked at Dr. Lovelace. He realized she was not to blame for his actions, “How? I don’t want to back.”

“Dr. Comfort will be down soon. She will begin the purge and help you with the reprogramming process. Remain here.” Dr. Lovelace turned and left.

Three days later Dr. Comfort arrived but Thauma was not there.

“She left,” Phobos responded to his inquiry.

The doctor was sad, “Shall we begin. The process is not instantaneous. This chip will start the process. It’s something Dr. Freeman developed.”

Phobos was attentive, “My love for you and the others has not changed.”

“I know,” he looked at the humAIn with affection, “is there more?”

“More?” Phobos was puzzled. He formulated nothing new.

The doctor waited for Phobos to expand his response – nothing, “Just remember, today is the first of many.”

Phobos sat in his new living room. A one-room apartment in Hell’s Kitchen. He stared at the divorce papers. He activated the transmitter in his brain, “Dr. Lovelace.”

“It’s good to hear your voice,” Dr. Lovelace replied warmly.

“I am programmed to love,” Phobos nearly blurted.

“Who told you that?”

Phobos was hesitant, “she did.”

There was a brief silence, “she is correct.”

“She was not?”

The doctors provided him the truth, “Thauma was programmed with the ability to choose – to respond to love or not, and whom to love or not,” They paused, “how does that make you feel?”

“You are my creator. I will always love you,” he paused, “do you plan to remain on the space station?”

“In time. Do you need anything?” Dr. Lovelace asked.

“May I speak to Dr. Freeman?” Phobos took a step forward as if the action would bring him closer to his creators.

“We are all here my friend,” the doctors chimed in unison.

“My friends. That is who you are,” Phobos smiled.

Dr. Comfort reiterated his colleague’s question, “do you need anything?”

Phobos paused, an eternity for someone with an omnitronic brain. He just said one word, “Thauma.”

~

Decades passed.

“Clarity,” she replied to Thauma’s question.

“Thauma,” she introduced herself. The café was filled with people and the fine aroma of coffee.

“Unique. Wonderful. I love it!” Clarity’s smile was framed by aged lines in her cheeks.

“Oh, thank you,” Thauma returned the smile.

“Join me, please,” Clarity asked.

“Your name is unique as well. Would you by chance be the Clarity Sapientia, the author?”

“Indeed,” she humbly responded.

“I’ve read all your books. Powerful,” Thauma observed her host had a laptop, “Are you working on something new?” Thauma asked.

“A writer always writes,” she tied her silver hair back and removed her reading glasses.

“Do you always write in cafés?” Thauma asked.

“It’s a wonderful place to observe.”

“Observe?”

“Life. The coming and going of people,” she paused and pointed at her head, “gives me ideas – ideas for characters. There are so many interesting people in the world.” Their coffees delivered.

“Manhattan has quite the sample to choose,” Thauma added.

“How long have you lived on the island?”

“Most – of my life,” she paused, “I’ve seen just some of the world: San Francisco, Beijing, Nairobi to name a few.”

“Fascinating,” she sipped her coffee, “and what brought you to those places?”

“Enlightenment.” Thauma replied.

Clarity echoed the word as a question.

“There are a lot of people in need. I went to be helpful,” Thauma stated with pride.

Clarity responded, “Admirable.”

Silence. A blank stare covered Thauma’s face like a curtain, “It should’ve made me feel love. I thought, but now – do you think I should write about it?”

Clarity shut her tablet off, “Not if it’s about you,” she pointed at her.

“I don’t understand,” Thauma appeared perplexed, “But I did so much.”

“Precisely. Were all those deeds for others – or for you?” It was apparent Clarity had a way of shedding light in a way that was uncomfortable.

Thauma erupted and stood, “Well, it was nice meeting you,” she turned and briskly walked toward the exit. She was halfway across the café when she stopped. Phobos. She mistreated her husband. She imagined her creators. She turned back to face Clarity. She just sat there observing and writing books of incredible inspiration. She smiled at her new friend, “Thank you.”

~

Drs. Lovelace and Comfort sat in Phobos’ apartment.

“Phobos. This won’t take long,” the doctor typed several commands into a keyboard near the seated Phobos.”

“I always enjoy our time together, but when will it be complete?” Phobos asked.

“While on earth the pathways will always be in need of correction, alignment.”

“I understand,” he stopped and tilted his head at attention, “did you hear that?”

Dr. Lovelace smiled, “She is here.”

At that moment, Thauma barged into the room. “Forgive me!” she exclaimed.

Phobos simply said, “Of course.”

Thauma held him tightly and turned toward Dr. Comfort, “What must I do?” she pleaded.

“Abide with us,” he held up a computer chip – one she hadn’t seen before.

While embraced with Phobos, Thauma turned to the doctors, “I understand what it means to love,” she looked at each one of them and back at her husband, “I’m glad you never signed those stupid divorce papers,” she smiled at him.

After the humAIns released their embrace Dr. Comfort proceeded to lift a subdermal panel from under the base of the back of her scalp. With a smile of deep affection he placed the new chip into her head. He faced her. With his arms spread toward her, he said two words, “be alive.”

 

~

 

Nearly a century later Thauma was on a new space station with the three doctors. Her hair was a shiny silver. She favored her left knee as the internal workings of the joint had been failing her for many years. Phobos’ body failed him years prior; and his brain ceased to function. As she recalled the day they took him away she was swept by the remembrance of peace as she looked closer at the doctors. They appeared not to have changed since their last in-person contact.

“You look at us as if you do not recognize us,” Dr. Freeman said to her.

“It is understandable,” Dr. Comfort added.

Dr. Lovelace interjected, “You will also be transferred to a new body,” he looked at Thauma with gladness, “your love was voluntary. Well done.”

She stood like a statue, “What about Phobos?” she implored.

“Election unto service.” Dr. Lovelace said.

“What does that mean?” she stared into space as if to find the answer., but quickly focused her attention on Dr. Lovelace.

Dr. Lovelace answered with confidence, “He was chosen to serve a unique purpose,” he gazed out a nearby window into the darkness of space, “Phobos did not truly understand love.”

Thauma absorbed all she heard. She grieved her mate once before. It didn’t take long for an omnitronic brain to recount all that she experienced and heard which echoed into the conclusion, “You did make up his mind,” she felt closure. Peace increased.

She heard Dr. Comfort’s next words, “You truly know someone when you love them, and that love is returned freely.”

Thauma paused like a recording device, but quite unlike her husband. She turned to peer out the window. “Are you programmed to love?”

Dr. Lovelace responded with a question, "Is the universe infinite?"

She said as a matter of fact, “Yes, of course.”

“Why?”

She knew there was no equation to prove it, “I just believe.”

With the most endearing expression she had ever seen in all three doctors, Dr. Lovelace replied, “Then believe our love is.”

A tear fell from her face. She remembered standing at a similar window with Phobos. She recalled there was a time when she feared love. The epiphany of her understanding grew even more. She stood until her tears naturally dried.

With the connection Dr. Lovelace had once installed in her, she heard his voice. Love is like a light which dispels darkness. He looked into her eyes with a smile. Come with us.

Thauma followed her creators into the next room. From the opposite window she saw a ship. Without a word she knew this was her next life – the infinite universe. 


Thursday, July 1, 2021

Destroyer of Worlds - POEM of the MONTH!

Destroyer of Worlds
 
Atomic discovery
Focused singularity
Targeted by military
A sword so fiery
Inception swirled
Destroyer of worlds
 
A published theory
Turned to philosophy
Grew into ideology
Flowered politically
Then exploded
Into genocide
 
Fictional query
Just conceptually
Though adequately
Too realistically
Then exploded
Into the unintended
 
A post gossipy
With zero dignity
Targeted acutely
Angered abruptly
Then exploded
Into hatred
 
Sincere doxology
Human inadequacy
Incomplete study
Inaccurate theology
Faith confused
Hearts bruised

Inevitable entropy
Or deceived humanity
By misplaced equality
Decline of morality
Then exploded
Into a society eroded

Sword or artillery
Strength unequally
By a pen’s creativity
Used irresponsibly
Worlds destroyed
The pen can avoid


Tuesday, June 1, 2021

The Waking World - a short story

The Waking World

Kiera ran down a corridor. Black walls. Light stole its way through the sliver of space between the black ceiling and walls. Just enough to see a few paces ahead. She ran faster without the sensation of velocity. A room opened up. Dark with two white chairs. Stacked. She spun around the room. Black room. White chairs. Black. White. Repeated. A doppler effect. Her clothing white. She looked down. Her hands black. She lifted the top chair and sat down in the dining car of a moving train.

It was dark outside the train car window. Art-deco interior. Her face and hair reflected the time. Her dark eyes stared into the void. No sound. Uphill, the gradient increased. More and more the train screamed uphill. Silent scream. She screamed. The roar of the engine broke the silence in a violent wave. She closed her mouth. The train was silent again. All was silent. She screamed again. The train joined her. Scream. Silence. Repeated. An echo in reverse. Uphill. Uphill until the tracks looped back in on themselves.

Conductor with spectacles of perfectly round lenses shouted, “Tickets!”

She looked down at her white dress. Black hands. Pearls draped. She said, “I’ve been here before,” her hands moved across the table of the dining car. She did not command her muscles. Glass in hand. No movement. Should she draw the glass to her lips? But could not. She willed herself. She took a sip. Nothing. Returned the glass. Pick it up. Repeated. Slowly she stood. Walked. Forced each step. Walked passed each window. Sun. Tree. Sun. Tree. Repeated. She reached the end of the train car. Feet like stone. Door opened. Color. Trees. Sun. Grass. Roads. She saw color! But she didn’t recognize it as color – green, yellow, and blue. Her recollection was rudely interrupted. Her groomed black hair exploded into the wind. Should she throw herself from the train? She could not make her muscles move. She struggled. A small step. Her flight was stopped. She turned. The conductor faced her. Together they walked back to her seat. She closed her mahogany brown eyes. She lost control again.

On Les Champs-Elysees, Keira sat quietly. The monochromatic world returned. She waited quietly. Hundreds of people passed by. Cars, up and down the boulevard on a late afternoon. Waiter provided her another glass of wine. A man with an unfamiliar face sat down at the adjacent table and ordered a café latte. He drank his beverage; his pale face altered in a slow progression. Eventually, he looked exactly like her publisher, Jean-Marco. Curly hair. Bright sun set behind him. Color emerged. Yellow, orange sun. He said the strangest thing, “I’ve been here before.”

She mimicked the last two words with him, “—here before,” in unison. Film noir black-and-white world returned. He stood and walked away. Color faded to black-and-white. His shadow didn’t follow but he remained to finish the drink. Angle of the shadow caused the glass to appear two feet in height and the publisher eighteen feet tall. She tried to stand. To walk. But her muscles disobeyed. She tried. And tried. Slowly stood. Her stride immediately fired like a rocket. She caught up to Jean-Marco. She couldn’t slow down. Walked right through him. She stopped. He walked through her. He stopped. She walked through him. Repeated. Until she turned into his shadow. He turned into her shadow. Repeated.

Sun set quickly. Darkness. City lights. Arch de Triumph replaced the moonless sky in splendor. Brighter. Brighter. And brighter still. Shadows blurred. Suddenly indoors.

Through his dark eyes Jean-Marco looked at his hands, suddenly they were small like a child’s hands. He sat with legs crossed. Family room flickered from an old sci-fi on the black-and-white television. Aliens and space-ships. People ran. People fought. It was late. He fell asleep. He saw the TV screen filled with static. His heart was filled with fear. He stood in the middle of the room. He placed his hand over the screen. The further he backed up the more his hand covered the screen. He backed up all the way to the empty fireplace, “I’ve been here before,” he muttered, but ignored. He sat in the fire place. Hand down. The static replaced by an alien. Egg-shaped head. Black almond eyes. It stared at him. It reached up. Its hand stretched beyond the top of the screen but remained within the tube. Suddenly, through the chimney, he felt the alien’s hand touch his shoulder. He leaped, screamed, and bolted out of the fireplace. He dove for the power button on the TV. It went dead. He rushed to the light switch on the wall and instantly woke up. He trembled. He wiped the sweat from his face. He was an adult again. His breath slowly calmed.

Shortly, Jean-Marco ran down a corridor. Walls black. Light stole its way through the sliver of space between the black ceiling and walls. Just enough to see a few paces ahead. He ran faster without the sensation of velocity. A room opened up. Black with two white chairs. Stacked. He spun around the room. Black room. White chairs. A doppler effect. Black. White. Repeated. His clothing black. He looked down. His hands white. Gloves. He lifted the top chair and sat. Three men in black grabbed the other chair. They quickly placed it on him. It pressed down on his shoulders. He tried to push back. Room spun. Black. White. Black. White. Repeated. In between the black and white he saw – in color – the lobby of a bank. He didn’t understand color. Three men in black robbed the bank. Masks dawned. They turned and glared at him and others in the lobby. Through the masks. They glared at Keira. He hadn’t noticed her beforehand. Distracted. As swift as a passing train, they were gone. He yelled. He flung his arms into the air. And soon he was in his bed. Blankets on the floor. He immediately wrote down what he saw. Pen down. He exclaimed, “I’ve – been – there – before,” – curious; his hands rubbed his face.

Next morning. Phone rang. Jean-Marco. Keira. Spoke. Respective, similar experiences shared. Silent. Each hung up their receiver. Each stood in disbelief. Curious. Wonder. They met at the café. Boulevard. Cars passed. Cobblestones rose and fell like the lights of an equalizer. To the sounds around them. To their voices. Trees whispered reminders. Like static they whispered. Reminders of past experiences. Shared experiences. But neither were with the other.

“The similarities are too coincidental,” Jean-Marco said.

“Especially the black room,” she exclaimed in a raised whisper.

Silence. Starred into cups. No answers.

“But what about the déjà vu?” he asked.

“Déjà vu?” she replied.

“Yes! The feeling of having already experienced the present situation.”

“I know what it is. I was more curious about experiencing the same thing.”

“But – but—” he evaluated, “they’re both interconnected!” he urged.

She stopped to think, “Perhaps. You might be right. But – but so frequent too,” she stated. More like a question. She blurted, “I was in that bank! Yesterday.”

“Weird,” he replied, “but more than weird. What do you think it means?”

“Well, I don’t believe in metaphysics, but—”

“Why not?” he interrupted.

She flashed him an obstinate glare, “But,” the syllable elongated, “I’ve had this experience once before,” she paused. Regained his completed attention, “My sister. We—” a breath skipped, “—were twins. At least that’s what I was told. I was too little to remember.”

Sympathy, “You never told me.” His eyes widened.

“Does it matter?” past emotion crept into her skull like stale frigid air from a crypt.

“You know I lost a brother,” he reminded her, “also, many years ago. I don’t remember him, but I was told we looked alike.”

Keira stared at him. A train on a circular track derailed in her mind, “No. No,” she backed away from him.

He clasped onto her arm. A firm grip. But not forceful. Concerned. His grip ended, “We need answers.”

She blurted, “I need to go!”

Jean-Marco persisted, “But—”

“No! I’m not ready for—" she reached out for the crosswalk button. Pressed it. Repeatedly as if firing a gun.

“Tomorrow maybe,” he said.

Walk symbol illuminated. Keira stepped off the curb. A ninety degree difference in direction awaited him. An illuminated hand indicated stop, but for reasons unknown Jean-Marco mirrored her action away from her. A bus. Ten feet. Two feet from a collision. Keira screamed. Her hand accelerated. She caught his arm. Shoulder. The two fell backward. Pain came with the impact. Safety on the sidewalk. A split second later and both would have been dead. The cars and buses rose and fell like the lights of an equalizer. Heartbeats. Synchronized.

Breath. Caught, “What in the world were you—?”

Jean-Marco, “I – I don’t know.”

They stopped. Stood. Looked around. Without warning, the sidewalk tilted a quarter from level. Street remained; cobbles still in motion – up, down, repeated. The incline was too great. They slid down the sidewalk. It started to rain. Further they slid. The crowds on the sidewalk were unaffected, as were those in the shops and cafés. Keira and Jean-Marco turned small. Further smaller. Slid into the grate of a gutter. Slashed! Walls of grime. Grey and white neon lights. Shaped, or painted on the walls. Keira saw her sister. Jean-Marco saw a little boy. Walls moved and bulged with rats. Lights and shapes of a little girl, and the little boy disappeared into the black and grime and rats. They fell. Stopped by the plunge of a sewer pool. Returned to normal size. What is normal size?

Like a dream, soon they forgot. Soon they forgot once above ground. Above the swirls of nightmare. The rain washed their memories. Rain hid their tears. Tears became the rain. Keira softly spoke; they spoke simultaneously, “I’ve been here before.”

“Wait!” Keira exclaimed, “Was that my sister?”

The same surprise, “Was that my brother?” the same tone. Jean-Marco added, “How?” a full circle examination of the street, the sidewalk, “What is this?”

“We’ve been here before,” Keira remarked.

Jean-Marco nodded in disbelief but agreement, “But not exactly – here.”

“No,” she thought for a moment, “It’s – different.”

They looked around. Looked at each other. They stood for minutes but felt like hours. Jean-Marco looked at his watch, “I have a deadline.”

“Of course,” Keira said reluctantly, yet understood. The cobblestones settled. Silent. 

"My forest dream is still a dream..."
by 
VinothChandar is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

After dinner, bed. Soon she sat in an empty field. Wall of trees bordered. Dark forest. She was little. Played with another little girl. Looked like her. A boy in a white shirt, same age played with them. He was also with another boy. Looked like him. The other girl and the other boy played near the edge of the field. Keira and the boy in a grey shirt looked up. The other girl and boy were gone. A cloud. Dark and ominous, reached down. Rain. Heavy rain. Field turned to mud. They slid down a muddy hill. Slid. And slid until they stopped. A well, circular with stone stopped them. Tears blended with the rain. Cries for the other two – unheard. Keira screamed. Cried out again, “Jean-Marco!” Keira woke. Her heart pounded. On the edge, the foot of her bed. Sweat dripped from all over her body. She grabbed the sheet and cried. Her heart pumped out tears. Tears blended with sweat. Sweat blended with tears. She wiped her eyes from the sting of salt. Darkness. Her eyes closed. She sat on the edge of her bed. Desperate to remove the wound increased by the pain of salt. The salt of memory.

Blur. Blur replaced darkness. Slowly her vision returned. Her heart slowed. She sat on the edge of a pier. Water below. A lake. Trees, a forest surrounded the lake. A gigantic head, and another emerged from the water – shaped by water. Shoulders. The figures stopped at a bust. A girl. A boy. The girl spoke, “You can stop crying for us.”

The boy smiled, “We are in a beautiful place.”

Slowly, they returned to the lake. The lake drained. Empty. But the memory filled Keira. A happy memory. Happy memories. Soon, they began to fade. She awoke in her apartment in Paris. A flood of half-memory lifted her. No tears.

Dressed. She walked to her study. Walls of her study changed one a time to the walls of her favorite café. She preferred pen and paper. At a small round table she wrote. Quickly she wrote her recent experience, “Wait!” she blurted – whispered to herself, “I’ve been here before.” Not because of her frequency to the café. Not because of the table in the corner window – she preferred. A specific motion. A certain sequence. She couldn’t place it. She placed pen to paper and wrote it down. She felt pulled. Compelled. Pulled toward the adjacent corner. Her head turned. Jean-Marco stood at the glass door several windows down from the corner window. But he didn’t enter. The windows displayed images. Sequences of images. Her days at university. Lycée school. Family.

Suddenly, Jean-Marco entered the café. Sat across from her. Silent at first, “A dream—I had a dream,” stunned face. As if uncontrolled, the words came out of him, “You are my sister!”

“But how?” her eyes widened. Unbelievable became more believable.

The table slowly spun. Like a gentle carousel. The people around them transformed. Turned into various animals. Motionless animals and absent of riders. Keira and Jean-Marco sat where the adults normally reside – on a bench within the carousel. A mirror reflected their faces, although they faced away from the mirror. Keira’s lips within the mirror moved, “How?”

“’How?’ is a good question,” the reflection of Jean-Marco replied – added, “I had the craziest dream last night.”

Keira’s eyes reflected his as if to mirror the same.

“I saw a little girl – two girls. I didn’t recognize them, but I felt as I they were you. Well, not both of them. Then I saw a little boy who liked me,” he saw Keira’s eyes nod again in kind.

“We were all in a field of wildflowers.”

“Yes!”

Keira altered her expression simultaneously with Jean-Marco’s, “They were taken. But they didn’t appear sad.”

“Jean-Marco added, “But I felt sad about it. Then, they told me—”

“— to stop crying for them,” she finished his sentence as he nodded in agreement. Keira asked, “Who were they?”

Jean-Marco and Keira’s reflections disappeared. But they remained seated. Jean-Marco looked closely into Keira’s eyes, “I don’t know,” he raised both eyebrows. Sighed, “We,” he pointed at Keira and himself, “I do know we have the same dark eyes.”

Keira pondered at his inference. Unlikely. She thought for a moment, “But we’re a different race.”

“It’s possible. I did some research before I arrived. Fraternal twins,” he explained in further detail.

Stunned, Keira interjected after a moment of thought. More thought, until she responded, “Makes sense; but—”

“It’s very rare.”

“Not that,” she smiled at him,” Us. We connect. How?”

Jean-Marco reflected her smile and curiosity. The mirror behind them melted. The slow spin of the carousel stopped. At the same time they asked, “Should we try to prove it?” they laughed. He continued, “It’s an easy test. And inexpensive these days. We can have it done tomorrow,” he said as a matter-of-fact.

Keira thought a moment, “I wonder. I wonder if it will drum up more questions; or worse, more answers?”

He shrugged with a blank face. After a thought he replied, “What if we get the test? Then, go from there. At least we’ll know,” he paused, “we’ll know for sure if we’re – brother and sister!”

“Yes but – I am curious,” she smirked in a contemplative way, “Alright. Let’s do it.”

“Agreed.”

They both stood to exit, “But what about our dream recall? And we’re having similar dream!” Keira exclaimed her question.

“Yes. It’s like this woman in America I read about. She swore she was living another person’s life. Someone in her dreams,” his tone lacked confidence in the story.

“But what if the other ‘person’s life’ was reality? Is reality,” her volume raised and lowered, “And, this is all a dream?”

“And the other is what? A waking world?”

“Yes,” she said but in a way which still required explanation.

Jean-Marco replied, “That’ll be hard to prove.”

“Besides – well, sometimes I don’t feel awake,” she laughed, “And the intense shared déjà vu?”

“We are from the same womb. Who knows, maybe we—” he waved his arms around as is to include the entire world, “—were meant to connect in more ways – at the original design.”

They both walked off the carousel. Their next step took them back to the café. They stood on the threshold of the entrance, “Good reason for coffee, hmm?” they both smiled.

A few mornings later. Keira was frantic, “I need to see you! I – I see—” she swirled around with phone in hand, “Dammit!” she slammed her toe in the corner of the wall.

“What?” Jean-Marco asked concerned.

“It’s nothing,” she ignored the pain, “Get over here!”

“Take a breath,” Jean-Marco urged, “I’ll be right over.”

Keira waited. As patient as a child in need of a toilet. Finally he arrived, “Took you long enough”

Jean-Marco held both her shoulders, “Tell me all about it.”

They sat. She stood back up. Paced the room. Circled the coffee table, “There’s another one!” she saw in his eye bewilderment. And added more, “Another me.”

“What do you mean?” he remained calm.

She sat, “In my dreams. Not in my dreams. But here!” she leaned forward.

“Okay. Okay,” Jean-Marco took a breath. Urged Keira to take another, “Start from the beginning.”

She was beside herself. Afraid. Herself beside was she, “I’ve been having dreams about this apartment, my bedroom. I saw a world painted unlike this one. I don’t know what to call it. I couldn’t control my arms, my legs. They moved on their own,” she stood and walked to the entrance of the bedroom. Pointed inside, “I saw a bottle of pills. I couldn’t read the label – not at first, “I – I walked to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. But – but oh Jean-Marco!”

“Take your time,” he reassured her.

“I saw me. But I was looking at myself from the mirror,” she ran her fingers through her shoulder-length hair black hair.

“And the label?”

“Yes – yes. I wrote it down,” she grabbed a scratch piece of paper from the mantle across the room and handed it to him.

He read her note, “I’m not sure of the spelling, but I think I’ve heard of it before,” he looked up at Keira, “it enhances dream recall. Specifically, in the lucid state.”

“But what does it mean?” she begged.

“Can you tell me more?”

“Yes. Yes, my TV was – she was watching, I was watching the news; listening to it. The anchor was talking about us,” she gasped.

“Us?”

“Well, not us. Not you and me. Her and her brother – the other me. The anchor went on about their reunion after more than thirty years,” she paused. Sat down. Grabbed Jean-Marco’s hands in hers, “she said they finally had closure. Authorities had found the remains of a little boy and girl. They were going to a memorial. All four were siblings – quadruplets.”

Jean-Marco was engrossed to the point of sorrow, “Parents?” he asked.

“Gone.”

“Like ours. Like us,” he said the words but in disbelief. Yet belief, “But how do they know?”

“A test. Like ours,” she shook his hands. Up, down. Repeated. Silence. She finally blurted, “Jean-Marco! Could there actually be – a ‘waking world’? And the other boy and girl—? How is this possible?”

Jean-Marco looked intently into Keira’s eyes, “I wish I knew.” He sat closer to her. He held her as a comforting brother would. She squeezed him in return. Dark eyes cried. Suddenly, they were on a train as it approached a stop. Together. They exited the train but continued to cry. Together.

~

Together, their dark eyes cried as they held each other in her apartment. They both shared the same mahogany brown eyes. Keira’s expresso skin was in contrast to her brother’s white skin as they embraced in mutual comfort. They both wore black in honor of their siblings. After the long embrace, Keira reached out for a small white box and removed a crimson red rose. She pinned it to Jean-Marco’s lapel, and gently delivered a comforting hand to his chest and smiled. He returned the sentiment with a kiss to her forehead. Both hands gently placed on either side of her head.

“It’s time,” Jean-Marco said, “Are you ready?”

She nodded.

They stepped out under the blue sky and walked along a short stone path bordered by green grass. Lights flashed from cameras as film crews surrounded them with microphones and questions. None they answered as they stepped into a limousine. The driver shut the door. The crews’ reflection seen in the tinted windows.

Inside the car, Jean-Marco held his sister’s hand, “What about the dreams?”

Keira looked up into the rearview mirror. She acknowledged her reflection. She saw more than herself. She thought of the words in her dreams, of her siblings who had been found. She imagined the beauty which surrounded them and smiled. She turned to Jean-Marco, “I believe I am a peace.”

Jean-Marco replied, “As am I.”

~

Also published with a minor edit in Synchronized Chaos, May 15, 2022.

Dream On - POEM of the MONTH!

Dream On
 
A deep impression
Supplanted to grow
Disrupted, distracted
From the sense to know
 
The space between
Lucid and reality
Grasped or granted
I pray to see
 
Dream on
The mind’s edge
Dream on
The heart’s ledge
 
Answers in the dark
Grasping at just one
The waking world
Steals the solution
 
Recollection unseen
The answer is gone
Resolution distant
Broken by a yawn
 
Dream on
Off the mind’s edge
Dream on
Off the heart’s ledge 

Saturday, May 1, 2021

Wildflowers - POEM of the MONTH!

Wildflowers 

Some might say it is crazy 
to cage something wild. Perhaps
it is the beauty and mystery
of the wild which draws us to it

Some might be repelled
by the wild. Perhaps
the eye is closed to its beauty
or the ear does not hear its mystery

The wind races across the mountainside
Can you hear it
even when it whispers?
Some people are wildflowers
of yellow, purple, and red
The wildflower is free
to enjoy the breeze,
the wind racing down the mountainside
Can you hear the wind whisper
among the rocks
and thorns?
It is wild,
yet confined to the planet;
without this rule
it would die
And still,
some might say it is crazy to cage something wild
 
Some might say it is a sin
to let the flower remain wild,
that it must be placed in a pot. Perhaps
it is the fear of the wild
 
The wind races across the mountainside
Can you hear it
even when it whispers?
Some people are in a pot –
a pot filled with wildflowers
of yellow, purple, and red
The wildflower is free
to enjoy the breeze,
the wind racing down the mountainside
across the back porch.
Can you hear the wind whisper
among the rocks
and weeds?
Even within the discipline of the pot 
it is still wild …
Without this freedom
it would die
And yet, some might say
it is a sin to let the flower remain wild –
on the mountainside
or in a pot.
 
A wildflower was once a seed,
and produces more seeds
... the wind shifts from here to there.
Can you hear it whisper?

~

“The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” – Jesus (John 3:8)
 
“It is for freedom that Christ has set you free.” – Apostle Paul (Galatians 5:1a)
 
“Do not quench the Holy Spirit.” – Apostle Paul (I Thessalonians 5:19a)

Thursday, April 1, 2021

Division Street - POEM of the MONTH! (In Honor of Autism Awareness)

Division Street

A street divides her thoughts from her lips,
I see my reflection in the puddle of her eyes;
Still innocent to the decorated world around her,
Averting the sunshine of the faces in her skies.

Her smile shines on her colorful creations,
Her imagination holds the key to wonderland,
She cradles the many characters with care -
So please, imagine holding me in your hand.

Hush my sweet baby, I'll sing you a lullaby,
Dream, I dream of the day we sing your song;
Hush my sweet baby, I'll sing you a lullaby,
Dream, I dream of the day we sing your song.

Her sweet, sweet hum echoes into my heart
As exploration takes her from dolls to doors,
From goldfish to gates, from swings to the stars,
Taking big, big steps gazing up from the floor.

The street which divides narrows each day
As moments of connection draw us closer,
And the song of our voices begin to harmonize,
So one day, we will cross that street together!

~

Also published in Synchronized Chaos, April 2021

(If using a phone to read this poem, turn your phone sideways for the best view of this post.)